Have That Nagging Feeling? GUILTY!
December 31st, 2008. Published under UrbanSpeaker. No Comments.
Many people struggle with the constant nagging feeling of guilt, as if they are not completing enough tasks at work, that they have committed some wrong or a variety of other demoralizing ideas.
For many people suffering from guilt, it can be difficult to function without being reminded of some past action. There are three main types of guilt, and are as follows:
Legitimate Guilt
This is a healthy guilt based on your response to something you have done that is actually wrong.
If you hit a baseball through a neighbor’s window when you were a kid, you would probably feel this type of guilt. As an child, the fear of having this guilt is often what helps prevents you from being “bad”, since the link between actions and consequences is not fully formed or understood til later in life.
Simply listening to your conscious and doing what you believe is right will prevent the onset of this type of feeling.
Illegitimate Guilt
This second type of guilt is based on the conceived idea that everything has to be perfect and that if anything is wrong or out of place, it is your fault.
If the dinner is overcooked, you are hit with unnecessary guilt. If the car gets a flat tire, it’s your fault and you feel guilty. Even if the weather is bad on an important day, somehow you are responsible.
Often this type of guilt is based on a low self-esteem and fueled every time you blame yourself. You say to yourself, “See!? I am always ruining things.” You have to stop trying to take the blame for everything, often things are out of your control.
False Guilt
I don’t want to talk to much about this one, as emotional and psychological counseling is not my forte. However, false guilt is when you clearly not at fault for an outcome or action.
Many victims of violence suffer in this category, often referred to as post-traumatic stress. Perhaps seeing professional help can aid in repair and the process of moving on.
How To Overcome Guilt
1\\ Recognize you are feeling guilty, and understand which of the three types of you are feeling.
2\\ Consider what you have done wrong, and what are the possible actions that can end the guilt.
- If you feel legitimate guilt, forgiveness from your victim is powerful in your healing, as well as theirs. (They may be feeling false guilt)
- If illegitimate guilt is plaguing you, realizing what you will do in the future to prevent this situation can help you, basically learning from your mistakes.
- False guilt can be difficult to get over, but the constant reminding of your blamelessness in that situation can help.
3\\ Ask yourself if you are getting any positive outcomes from the prolonged feelings of guilt. If they are not helping you, why waste your time wallowing in these feelings?
4\\ Helping others can provide you with the evidence that you are “setting things right”. You are repaying your debt to the world by helping society.
5\\ If guilt lasts for extended periods of time, medical help should be considered.
Often moving on takes some discipline, for more on that topic, check out this article.
